Che far degg'io?

When you said the flow of the narration is choppy, I'm thinking what you may be picking up on is that this fic is literally 3,500 words Jaida and 3,500 words me, which makes for some disparates in syntax since this is our first go at collaborating in this continuous-trade-off style. Sometimes, we switch off mid paragraph, sometimes, we insert sentences in mid-each-other's-paragraphs. So, what I'm saying is, ever thought about doing beta work? :D I do expect this discrepency to lessen over time. Even if you're not good at grammar, just bolding intuitively awkward spots would be useful. (Although, for Chapter 2, we probably need to pass it off this afternoon.)